lovely life

i thought love was black & white.

2009-05-10T18:01:00.001-04:00

2009-05-03T20:06:00.001-04:00

back to reality.

Ooooooh SHIT!!!!

2009-04-08T12:06:00.002-04:00

I went camping and listened to this song in the woods around a fire with a great bunch of friends. Probably 5 times. My stomach still hurts from laughing.

It's a moth.

2009-03-16T14:11:00.002-04:00

We got $13 tattoos on Friday. Then we got hammered.

Snowy Sunday.

2009-03-01T19:29:00.002-05:00

Waking up this morning/afternoon was pleasant. A steady snow until around 5:30. Candler Park with boy and friends. Coming back for beers, bowls, and skate vids at the apartment. Too bad it's all slush outside. What now?

only in dreams.

2009-02-22T23:53:00.001-05:00

STRING DANCE.

2009-02-18T22:47:00.001-05:00

Before every rainbow.

2009-02-18T20:44:00.003-05:00

Yeah, that's hail. An excellent night to do some laundry and catch up on the several episodes I've already missed of Lost.

Good genes.

2009-02-15T17:27:00.005-05:00

I am so, so proud of her. I have never seen someone so passionate. Off to Portland! Hopefully I can get off work and make the trip to join her...

not even a bite.

2009-02-10T17:27:00.002-05:00

Fishing with the boys. Falling asleep in trees. Easy day.

<3

2009-02-02T19:39:00.001-05:00

wires and waves.

2009-01-27T16:08:00.000-05:00

oui.

2009-01-26T16:09:00.002-05:00

terry richardson can do no wrong.

blood bank.

2009-01-24T01:37:00.003-05:00

I miss it. and You, oddly enough. Flings.

2009-01-14T22:01:00.001-05:00

I just got myself to blame
Leave everything up to fate
When there's choices I can make
When there's choices I can make
Now my heart needs a polygraph
Always eager to pack my bags
When I really wanna stay
When I really wanna stay

Dammit.

2009-01-05T09:56:00.004-05:00

I don't think I'm ever going to finish college. Spring semester: American Lit I, Astronomy 1010, Intro to Physics 1111 with a lab. Oh, and I still need an additional math course that satisfies 3 hours, however, all that are offered are 4 hours? And I'm sure as hell not taking Pre-Cal this semester. Go fuck yourself!

Hey, remember when I was a Journalism major and none of this shit should've mattered??? Buhhhh, I wasted so much time! Actually, I just took all my more interesting classes as a Freshman and Sophomore and delayed all of this bull shit until the last minute. I win.. not.

Whatever. 2009 will not be spent procrastinating! I slipped towards the end of the year and forgot about what was important. I need more early bed times, more morning cups of coffee, more This American life marathons on my iPod, and more pages read in whatever novel that's collecting dust on my nightstand. Less smoke breaks, less beer bottles in my room, less snooze buttons at noon, and less nights driving home from Taco Mac at 1 in the morning.

Time for some change!

KKSF and the passenger seat.

2009-01-02T17:20:00.002-05:00

Days like today are the days I just wish I could sit on the couch with my mom and watch movies til it was time we go to bed before we wake up my dad from laughing too much. Just to listen to songs that remind me of her make me tear up. I want to be a kid again and I want these miles that keep us separated to disappear. These are a few songs from my childhood that remind me most of my mom..

I miss my momma.

But seriously, I hate you.

2008-12-31T09:08:00.001-05:00

bad apples.

2008-12-30T13:14:00.005-05:00

What's really frightening? Waking up in the morning and seeing red, itchy spots all over your stomach, sides, back, legs, and arms. Hopefully it isn't chicken pox. The doc will let me know tomorrow morning. I got sent home from work because I resembled a modern-day leper. Wonderful.

So, instead of sassing people and serving beers all day, I'm curled up in bed listening to Ira Glass' beautiful voice and snoozing on and off until Wes gets off work.

Hopefully by the end of the day, I don't look like this..

Eating in the ghetto on a hundred dollar plate.

2008-12-26T15:26:00.004-05:00

I still keep my head up even when I'm about to be $700 in debt. I hate money. Someone buy me a winning Mega Millions ticket and lets go to Borneo.

Christmas was fair. Undoubtedly the most surprising Christmas ever.. not spending it with my family and instead, a wonderful boyfriend and my other (Mexican) half. We both got great gifts and ended up watching Christmas fly by since Wes had to work at 3. Spent last night in the company of the girl that knows me best and had some excellent conversation regardless of the horrible situation that went down yesterday. I'll still kill him.

Then I video chatted with my parents and sister in Texas and my dad got to show off his Guitar Hero for his Wii that he acquired..

Best family.

New Years will be here sooner than ever and I caught myself looking back on this blog a year ago. A few resolutions came true, a few did not. Regardless, I am happy. My life may not be in the most stable place and I still struggle a lot, however, most nights I fall asleep with a smile on my face and breathe a sigh of relief that I am where I am. I have a job.. that may suck at times.. but I still have one. I have a family.. that may be thousands of miles away, but still looks out for me and takes care of me, even when I'm a brat. I have a wonderful boyfriend that tells me I'm beautiful every day and drinks more whiskey than me. I have amazing friends that look out for me and stand in for the family that is so far away. And a little Boston Terrier that I love more than anything ever.

I'm pretty sure I'm going into the New Year better than I ever have. Fin.

2008-12-22T03:14:00.002-05:00

God, I miss being sixteen. I miss the Transplants and late nights at the house where all the boys lived. The trampoline. That summer. Best nights of my life.

Before I know it, I've turned 21 and I'm trying to stand on my own two feet instead of skipping out on curfew.

Good memories keep me going. Cheers to making new ones.

never fails.

2008-12-07T18:56:00.001-05:00

sweet surprise i could get used to.

2008-12-02T20:48:00.002-05:00

i just didn't think that day was going to be so soon.

brit brit is back.

2008-12-02T19:26:00.000-05:00

you fucking GO, girl.

haters get on your job.

2008-11-29T22:17:00.002-05:00

not a permanent hiatus.. just motivation to get up and out and busy. no time to sit.

happiness hasn't felt this good in a long time.

for we are nothing alone.

2008-11-18T18:54:00.001-05:00

right past the fireflies that speed in my heart.

2008-11-13T04:15:00.004-05:00

It's 4:15 in the morning.
I'm doing some much needed laundry.
Listening to This American Life and the rain pour.
My car works again.
I don't have a thing to do tomorrow except work at 5.

My horoscope today was awful and insightful but really just awful.
My dog is really sick and is the cause of me doing laundry this late. =/
I'd actually prefer to be in bed right now.
I had to spend $100 on my new fucking battery.
My favorite person at work is leaving in two days.

And most of all, I hate that I put myself out there enough to get let down. But what else is newwww? Whatever. Tryin' to guard that heart more and more each day but failing miserably. Northbound in two weeks regardless. Send me good vibes. I need them more than anyone right now.

Where did all the good ones go?

top chef NYC!

2008-11-11T21:16:00.001-05:00

TOMORROW! FINALLY!

broke my heart to leave the city.

2008-11-10T12:57:00.001-05:00

5-cl.

2008-11-07T15:22:00.001-05:00

before work rituals.

2008-11-06T03:00:00.001-05:00

god, i don't even know why i wasted my time for so many years.

free.

2008-11-04T18:04:00.003-05:00

break dem chains. wireless internet is finally a reality. welcome to the good life/real world, finally finally finally!

thankful for mid-day margaritas and drunken battery jump starts. a good afternoon buzz and a wide smile as i watched the sun sink down past my dashboard.

i'll be so glad to get out of this terrible rut i find myself in every night before i go to bed. i guess it's no surprise that i keep trying to act like i'm happy but i'm still empty somehow.

"the best thing that you had has gone away."

i laugh every time.

2008-11-03T15:28:00.001-05:00

2008-10-30T15:29:00.002-04:00

I couldn't wait to breathe your breath. I cut in line, I bled to death. I got to you, there was nothing left. What's the meanest you can be to the one you claim to love and still smile to your new found friends? In the same confusing breath, you pull away and draw me in. I wanted you. You wanted more. I built this life and now it's mine.

Funny how high school never seems to end. The same songs are there for the same situations.

is this the end or just the start of something really, really beautiful?

2008-10-28T01:19:00.001-04:00

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me sometimes. Done.

spyhd.

2008-10-26T16:31:00.003-04:00

Finally.. The soundtrack to my summer of 2007 has a visual. I miss hearing this song every night from the weak Honda speakers.

thinking about how bad it feels all alone again.

2008-10-21T23:41:00.003-04:00

Sometimes it takes a trip a thousand miles away and some cold Northeastern air to kick your head and heart into simultaneous gear and make you start thinking about what you really want. Maybe that's just me. I feel like I've been in a stagnant frame of mind for the past couple of months and finally I've got some motivation to get out and do the things I've wanted to do for a while.

Step one: Get out of Atlanta. I need something else. Every once in a while I get those flips in my stomach where I feel like I need to get out and finally, I need to follow them. There's nothing here for me anymore and the more I look at what I've been doing with my life lately, the more I regret not getting out when I had the chances.

All in all.. a bittersweet weekend. I'll be back soon.

"I have the true feeling of myself only when I am unbearably unhappy."

2008-10-17T02:18:00.001-04:00

2008-10-13T01:37:00.003-04:00

It seems like whenever October rolls around, things start turning sour for me.. for whatever reason. Morever, I wish my pockets weren't so damn empty. But then again I could be in worse predicaments.

It's funny how often I say I don't regret things but I am always constantly second-guessing myself.. only to be let down. Weird how optimistic I can stay when situations don't turn in my favor. Which is probably.. 90% of the time. Ehhh.

Majestic tonight. Getting sick and paying too much for tap water. But I did see this dude sitting next to me at a table..

Crazy. He get a veggie omelet with hashbrowns and wheat toast. Yeah, crazy.

2008-10-08T02:07:00.001-04:00

Bon Iver covering Talk Talk

ugh.. gimme.

finally, i don't mind.

2008-10-03T14:16:00.004-04:00

late night parking lot talks and chattering teeth. blurred vision and belly laughs. i miss so many people. distance and alcohol are bumming me out. but keeping me sane at the same time.

Tonight.

2008-10-01T18:11:00.000-04:00

Beautiful Losers film trailer from beautifullosersfilm on Vimeo.

2008-09-29T16:09:00.001-04:00

haters gonna hate.

Well.

2008-09-26T23:22:00.002-04:00

Here goes nothin'..

latest nights.

2008-09-25T23:16:00.000-04:00

I love my friends.

FUCK YES.

2008-09-18T22:06:00.005-04:00

The rest of my tax return that I expected a month from now showed up in my mailbox today. $512. Lookin up!

Zoooooooooooooooey.

2008-09-18T22:06:00.003-04:00

My self confidence in the way I look has dropped to an all-time low. Why can't I just grow up to be as pretty as her?

Cue the self-loathing and random outbursts of uncontrollable sobbing.

Sugar mountain.

2008-09-17T20:41:00.002-04:00

I wish I knew what caused these random and awful headaches. Too many nights spent at the bottom of a bottle or glass, perhaps? Either way..

I need to get out of this city for a couple of days and forget about my responsibilities.

2008-09-17T20:41:00.001-04:00

Thinking over 1,2 what am I to do. Should I go home still sober? Or should I buy me another glass of wine and forget about time?
But my jeans are too tight, don't really feel like dancing. No this light is too bright, don't really feel like shining. No this room is too small, rather stand against the wall. And hope that no one sees me.

I already miss your blueberry pancakes.

2008-09-15T12:40:00.002-04:00

It's kind of ridiculous to see how much my life has changed just within in the past year. Here I am, actually semi-dedicated to my school work. Making money for working hard.. rather than sitting behind a salon desk and rotting all day. In an apartment I'm actually comfortable in rather than in a steel box surrounded by druggies. And happy for myself rather than being happy because of someone else. I've got a lot on my shoulders and only myself to let down.

I miss my other half. I miss cold days in that car and in the Theus household and on their back porch. "You work at a salon? Give me a massage." The cold weather needs to get here to be good to me. Even though I temporarily blacked out and lost my mind for a few of the last winter months.. I feel like this will be different.

Maximize pleasure. Minimize pain.

You are perfect in every way.

2008-09-12T23:08:00.001-04:00

2008-09-11T21:18:00.001-04:00

I wanna get away for a little bit. My head is getting more and more cluttered with every passing day. Too busy.

Sometimes I wish there wasn't a wrong side of the bed to wake up on. But maybe that's what happens when you sleep alone and have one too many choices to make when picking which side of the bed to roll off onto.

BAH.

2008-09-11T02:02:00.001-04:00

Amanda. I love you.

there's always a siren singing you to a shipwreck.

2008-09-07T11:22:00.001-04:00

Just one of those mornings. Skipped out on work because I feel like death warmed up.

The rest of the day will be spent in my little room watching Twin Peaks and hibernating in bed til my evening shift rolls around and I am forced to get ready.

I am still taking volunteers to help me brush my hair every once in a while. Obviously.

caught a plane to spain.

2008-09-05T15:39:00.000-04:00

2008-09-05T10:03:00.002-04:00

Waking up early feels better than a lot of things. A cup of coffee and a cigarette and I'm set. But when I have to come to class and rot in florescent lit classrooms, I feel like death.

Work is amazing. Hard work.. but I get to serve a bunch of Chad's and give them beers and take their insane tips. Like the drunkest party I've ever had last night.. a $50 bill and a $13 tip? I'm into it. Rent is getting paaaid. And maybe I'll finally be able to go out and buy some clothes for the first time since my wallet got annihilated in the beginning of August.

I've got some notes to take apparently..

You.

Major Tom.

2008-09-03T15:10:00.000-04:00

What on earth could be more perfect and pleasing than Chan Marshall covering David Bowie?

I don't really know.. to be quite honest with you.

come home to me.

2008-09-01T14:14:00.001-04:00

Dying young.

2008-08-29T23:37:00.004-04:00

Cue the routine..

Wednesday nights.

2008-08-28T11:08:00.003-04:00

There may have not been any Primetime: Crime.. but oh, was there Bud Light Lime. Aplenty.

obsessed

2008-08-25T23:28:00.001-04:00

i <3 nyc.

2008-08-23T13:04:00.003-04:00

"New York I love you" Teaser
by Mollyryan

If you never saw Paris, Je t'aime.. rent it IMMEDIATELY. Then follow me to the theater to see this.

Pass the courvoisier.

2008-08-22T23:37:00.005-04:00

I need someone to come help me brush my hair once in a while. And someone to rub my legs after my shift tonight. And someone to carry me into my bed. And someone to sleep with since I'm so ronrey.

Too bad I didn't make any money off the tables I helped with tonight. Including the table that got 5 pitchers and spent $170. Ugh..

Football season will be a blessing.

bmp.

2008-08-21T21:05:00.004-04:00

Work, school, work, school, sleep, eat (maybe), drink (always), shower, shower, sleep. Wake up and do it again and again and again.

2008-08-21T16:17:00.002-04:00

Dont stop believing - Journey

I miss Florida sometimes.

headaches.

2008-08-19T23:18:00.001-04:00

Better times.

2008-08-18T11:40:00.003-04:00

"I can't make you love me.."

marching in place.

2008-08-17T12:37:00.001-04:00

I think this is one of the cutest things I have ever read.

Some Things to Know About Your Mother
Weekend Edition Sunday, August 17, 2008
I believe a girl should know her mother. I mean really know her. On the highway, does she drive in the right-hand lane or the left? When she was a little girl, what did she hang on her bedroom wall? What really makes her laugh? How does she handle a bad day? Does she like to dance?

I lost my mother to colon cancer when I was 5. She was 42. I do not know these things about my mother. I could ask; I have a wonderful father and five older siblings who had the honor of knowing her much longer than I did. But I'm Irish. If you are Irish, you may know what I mean. We don't tend to ask and almost 30 years later, my mother's early death is still a very painful subject for all of us. But I have my assumptions, gleaned from years of careful listening. She was something of a cynic, like me, with a sharp wit. She was quick to laugh. She had a soft spot for children. She loved to read and write. She was loved by many, and we will always miss her.

At 34, I just gave birth to my first baby. Grace, I am your mother. You are stuck with me. By the time you want to know these things about me, you may not think I am so cool anymore. Or, God forbid, I am not here to tell you. But I will be here. If it means a colonoscopy every month for the rest of my life, I will be here. But in case you don't ask, there are some small things about me you should know, if you should ever wonder.

So, I have a weakness for goofy-looking creatures. I know it's sappy, but after loving E.T. since I was a kid, I finally adopted our pug. It was the closest I could get.

My bedroom posters? They included E.T., Duran Duran and Robert Parrish of the '84 Celtics.

I've always wondered what my mother found funny. For me, animals in human clothing always do the trick: a dog in a coat, a cat in a pillbox hat or a chimp in a three-piece suit.

For the record, U2 is the best band on earth. This is not a matter for debate; it's the truth.

I always drive in the right-hand lane. You should know that your mother is a terrible driver. I am best off in the back seat with my eyes closed.

Lastly, if you're in a bad mood, try marching in place vigorously. I'm convinced marching always makes you feel better. It's simply impossible to feel anxious while marching.

Dear Grace, as long as I am here, please ask me anything, anytime. I believe a girl should know her mother.

Sneezy.

2008-08-16T23:33:00.003-04:00

After finally FULLY unpacking every single box in my apartment and staying as busy as possible while the sun hid itself today, I started having the worst allergy attack. Thus, I land myself at home for another night.. the last night of summer before school starts. Sadball. But hopefully I'll see my better half tomorrow.

So, instead of a night out in the city.. I am at home, blowing my nose, eating M&M's and watching an incredible CNN documentary on the women in Afghanistan. I've earned my nerd points for the rest of the year.

Oh.. and welcome to Hell:

so near, so far.

2008-08-16T00:28:00.001-04:00

2008-08-14T22:31:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I wished you'd just come home so we could go get Waffle House late at night. Then you'd complain about your stomach hurting from all the cherry coke you drank..

Turn to the left.

2008-08-13T14:21:00.001-04:00

Welcome to my world.

2008-08-12T23:39:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I think I entirely skipped my early 20's and zoomed straight into my late 30's. While the majority of people my age are either out at a bar, working their part-time job, or simply sleeping off the drinks they've consumed at said bar.. I'm in my pj's, listening to Coltrane and sinking deeper and deeper into NPR's website under the Books section.

Rainy nights do these kinds of things to me. I just wish there was someone I could burrow under my covers with. A guy to read me the parts of the books he's reading and a guy that will listen to me do the same. Also, someone who is equally as interested in watching episode after episode of Law & Order: SVU with me.

I think I've been single for too long? Maybe..?

Bliss.

2008-08-12T13:00:00.000-04:00

Dance, dance, dance to the radio.

2008-08-11T16:36:00.003-04:00

I don't know why it took me so long to finally go out and get this movie.. maybe because my head has been cluttered since the onset of summer. Regardless, I stopped by Videodrome the other night and picked up Control. I watched it two times in a row last night and am currently ripping it to my iPod so I can watch it again tonight since I have to return it today.

It is incredible. That's it.

xoxo.

2008-08-07T21:02:00.003-04:00

All I need. Seriously.

Oh, and it's always a relief to finally feel a heavy weight off of your shoulders. Being able to say something I've wanted to say for too long. Making sure that people know that their presence in my life is not necessary because of the strict fact that I don't want to be dragged down with them. Life is too sweet and too short to make a misery out of it. I'm just glad I have a few people in my life who are there through thick and thin and not pretending to be something they aren't. Now that's over with..

My apartment is amazing. My dog rules. I still don't have a job but it will come eventually. Fall semester starts back up in about a week and a half and I couldn't be more excited to keep the wheels a-turnin' academically. Now I'm going to duck out of Whole Foods (after I grab a delicious pastry for dessert) and go home to read in bed for the rest of the evening to cuddle with my amazing little babe.

Whole.

2008-08-03T23:52:00.003-04:00

I feel like everything is finally turning around for me. Everything is slowly falling into place. For once I am finding the strength to look inside of myself and be happy with what I see. I feel so good and so happy. Warm smiles.

Always.

L. RON

2008-08-03T13:28:00.000-04:00

I CAN'T GET ENOUGH.

2008-08-02T21:13:00.002-04:00

Tip #1: Never, and I stress NEVER, pack your tennis shoes first when moving and then resort to moving your belongings while wearing flip flops. The space between my big and second toe is throbbing and I scored a big blister to boot. So, like I said.. tennis shoes do NOT get packed.

With that said, I am 98% moved into my new apartment but I'm still at the hotel until Monday morning. Long story short.. the girl that lived there didn't pay her bills, got the power shut off, and I, in turn, am being punished and have to show up at Georgia Power on Monday with documents proving that I am the actual tenant in the apartment and will then be receiving power. I had to steal an hour or so of power from the laundry room via power strip & a nifty 50 foot extension cord just so I could assemble my bed without suffering from severe dehydration.

So yeah. Monday will be the first day I will be living in my apartment.. if all goes well.

Had a good dinner and a couple drinks with dad tonight at some Japanese restaurant up here in Alpharetta. Last dinner with dad for who knows how long.. sigh.

Calendar for August is looking good.. School, finding a new job, Ryan's visit. Ahh life. Lookin' up.

This is what happens.

2008-07-31T12:39:00.001-04:00

In a hotel room with nothing to do and nowhere to go. So this is what keeps me busy.

golden, golden. always gold.

2008-07-30T14:21:00.002-04:00

The Escapist.

2008-07-30T11:30:00.003-04:00

Packing is the most frustrating thing ever. At least I got my Starbucks bev, Superbad, and a couple text messages to get me through the day. Keep on keepin' on..

2008-07-28T22:38:00.004-04:00

I wanna cry just looking at it. But I know I'm gonna make it. It'll be weird going back full time at first.. but I'll get the swing of it again. Plus, I always have to remind myself how much I'd rather be at school on my own time, rather than at work, slaving away for the benefit of someone else.

Packing for the next few days.. Ohhhh my. I really can't wait to be back downtown again. Ahh, new beginnings in familiar places.

Wormholez.

2008-07-28T16:40:00.003-04:00

ryanthrift: i was watching march of the penguins
ryanthrift: with a bunch of people
ryanthrift: on shrooms
herwearybones: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ryanthrift: and i think i didn't like penguins before...
ryanthrift: but i REALLY didn't like them once i was watching this
ryanthrift: i questioned their existence...
herwearybones: hahahahahahahahahahahaha oh my god i'm laughing so hard.
ryanthrift: like WHY are these fucking birds living in these goddamn places
ryanthrift: why can't they just live somewhere else
herwearybones: im crying.
ryanthrift: so they don't have to juggle their eggs and stay in a crowd for MONTHS
ryanthrift: its ridiculous
ryanthrift: okay so i was dealing with that
ryanthrift: and then they started diving into the water
herwearybones: hahahahahah ahhhh
ryanthrift: and the seals start EATING the penguins
ryanthrift: and i couldn't handle it anymore
herwearybones: oh my GOODDDDD AHHHHHHH
ryanthrift: i stood up and said FUCK SEALS... FUCK PENGUINS... I'M OUTTA HERE
ryanthrift: and ran upstairs
ryanthrift: then my friend got me to stare at a crystal and drink some water and pretend i was in california
ryanthrift: and i felt better
herwearybones: hahahahahahahhahahahahahha
ryanthrift: the end
herwearybones: umm.... there was just a spare crystal, you know.. lying around?
ryanthrift: to this day i hate penguins
ryanthrift: oh we were hippiezzz
ryanthrift: there were sticks and crystals EVERYWHERE

Christian the Lion.

2008-07-27T21:59:00.000-04:00

Don't even care. It's seriously the cutest thing ever.

Leaps and bounds.

2008-07-27T17:01:00.003-04:00

Today was the last day I ever had to look at these evil twins. And GOOD RIDDANCE.

Finals begin tomorrow, with math as the first of the two. History is on Tuesday. Complete with a four page essay! Excitement! Nonetheless, this weekend has been spent in hibernation, besides double-feature-ing it up on Friday night with Ryne to see Step Brothers and The X Files. It'll be so nice to be able to make my way home from Atlantic Station in less than ten minutes rather than just over half an hour.

Stressfest of the year starts in a week. Looking for a new job, registering for fall semester, settling into my apartment. I am currently hiring a personal assistant to take care of all of the above. Including painting my apartment and calling Comcast to set up my cable and internet. The latter makes me want to pull my hair out every time I move. So many things to do.. I get so lethargic just thinking about it.

I think the only thing I'm looking forward to lately is going to see Pineapple Express with Stefany. Ohh my.. what a night/adventure it will be.

2008-07-23T20:30:00.000-04:00

While my Robert Kennedy paper dwindles in the back of my desktop, I am left to my own devices and scouring the internet for something to listen to, considering my iTunes library is on my other computer and I have nothing. Like an old friend I can always count on, I stumble over to Daytrotter and find the Bon Iver sessions.

Being in love with this album since December, I decided to give his sessions a go. And as always, read the always pleasant article that goes along with every Daytrotter session.

I highly suggest you check out his album if you haven't already. It's playing in Starbucks sometimes when I'm at work so I'm pretty sure a good majority of you have been able to give it a listen. It is heartbreaking and incredible and makes every solo drive I take at night a little more comforting. The Daytrotter sessions are kind of even more amazing.. if you can wrap your head around that.

And just because I am a person who appreciates amazing writing and individuals who can capture moments and feelings with the perfect words..

"Enough has been made out of the cool side of the pillow. Enough with it. It’s just an unused side, nothing more and nothing less. A pillow with potential. It’s just lying there, naked by the headboard. Plenty has been made about the empty warmth of the bed too. The side of the bed, previously occupied, just recently deserted for a different bed. It’s never meant a better bed, necessarily, just a different one, one with different sheets and blankets, different pillows for sure and without question, a different person to share it with. Plenty has been made out of how that warm, oblong shape of space that we can run our hands over and get burnt by the touch is like an obscenity to behold, to have to behold. There’s no way around it. It’s not the same as the warm spot that gets left in the mornings, when the alarm clocks beckon our better half away to an appointment or a job. This is the permanent kind of heat loss. It’s there and then it’s gone like a vapor, the scent of those limp, resting limbs and necks still reeks like betrayal and love, more love, no – more betrayal."

2008-07-22T21:14:00.000-04:00

Life is really weird and crazy and scatterbrained.

I've said my goodbyes to most of those concerned at work. My last day is Sunday. I don't think I'm transferring.. mostly because I'm tired of seeing shit like this in my workplace:

This is what my manager does to promote the new smoothie drink we have. She puts up balloons and puts banana table cloths on the cafe tables. I hate corporations sometimes.

Finals are next Monday & Tuesday. I'm as ready as I can be, I suppose. I need to write an essay on Bobby Kennedy in the next few days.. whenever I get the time to sit down and collect my thoughts. Who knows when that will be..

I think what's been on my mind the most in the past few days is saying goodbye to my mom and dad.. until who knows when. It will be just my sister and I in good ole' Dixie. It hasn't hit me yet that my parents are moving a plane flight away. At least I've got my Danielle.

2008-07-19T22:28:00.000-04:00

Fuck this book and the test I'm going to take on it on Monday. Fuck T-Mobile for keeping me on the phone today for 3+ hours only to tell me that the only thing they could do was let me cancel my service for $100 instead of $200. Fuck opening up tomorrow morning at 5:15 and still being awake and feeling my iced coffee buzz. Fuck being broke because my manager scheduled me for TEN HOURS this week. Fucckkkking fuck.

But hey I got a Blackberry Curve today with AT&T. And I'm getting my new computer on Monday. And I've got an A average in Math. And drexting (drunk texting) is still tight. Soo.. party on, Garth.

2008-07-16T17:36:00.000-04:00

There is much too much going on in my little life to make sense of right now. Moving, school, new job?... it's haunting me and all I want to do is curl up in bed and take a nap.

So, in between looking for a new apartment (even though I'm pretty sure I have one locked down, let's hope!), reading page after page in my history book, and carousing the Starbucks' of Inman Park, I'm doing this:

And listening to the Dixie Chicks as much as possible.... no shame.

2008-07-13T21:55:00.000-04:00

time and time again i said i’d leave you. time and time again i went away. but then would come the time when i would need you. and once again these words i had to say.. take me back, i love you... i need you. i know it’s wrong, it must be wrong. but right or wrong i can’t get along, without you

2008-07-07T18:49:00.000-04:00

I am on fire in summer school. Making nothing but A's and B's and enjoying every minute of it. While I still get perturbed about my evenings of non-existent social behavior and overwhelming homework assignments... It's been worth it. I'll get the chance to creep out into the city tomorrow night at the Earl with Briana. Before that, though, will be a day of scouring Inman and Candler Park for a place to live. Hopefully, I won't come up empty handed.

I've been reading this book and am thoroughly enjoying it. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I was swayed by the cover initially, but the first few pages didn't disappoint and so far, it's been a good summer read. After my mom is done battling the new James Frey, that will be next on the list.

Oh, and The Fugees have been on solid repeat. No shame.

2008-07-02T22:33:00.001-04:00

Yeah.. I ordered a beer on my 21st birthday. No classy lady drinks for moi!

Hmm, so I've made 21 crazy complete revolutions around the sun and I feel no different. Yesterday was quite uneventful but hopefully this weekend will be a bit different, without morning wake-up calls for school and a sister's couch to crash on. My birthday loot included a pretty necklace from Danielle, a featherbed and new sheets from Mother Bird, and a new laptop (in 2 weeks.. ugh) from Daddy Dearest. All in all, it was a good, easygoing day. With a few added benefits.

Apartment search number 23902394 is underway and making me want to pull my hair out. I hate looking for a place to live and I hate talking to shitty leasing agents/landlords. Hopefully I'll end up in Cabbagetown or Inman Park and won't have to suffer in Midtown again. I just want my old neighborhood back.. even though I'd rather be doused with acid than have to move back into Oak Pointe.

Couldn't help but be nostalgic yesterday and think about how Eddie was my best birthday present on my 18th birthday 3 years ago. While I may have lost a boyfriend, I did keep a best friend. And I miss him every day. But anyhoo..

I suppose I should turn in. I've got a good book to read, a history quiz to have nightmares about, and the cutest little puppy to snuggle with.

I got my makeup done at MAC and looked like a teen porn star. I liked it.

So happy, slightly drunky.

2008-06-28T12:36:00.001-04:00

I've got little to no patience left to update this thing anymore. Although I'm sure I will be doing so more frequently when I can handle the routine of studying, working, looking for a new apartment, binge drinking (I turn 21 on Tuesday, hahhhh), etc, without having a nervous breakdown.

What's there to say? Life is beautiful. Enjoying each and every day as it passes. Happier than ever. Long summer drives, more smiling, A's on tests. I feel like I'm in high school again. My parents leave for Dallas on the first of August, therefore I'll be living back in the city again until the wind blows me in other directions.

I'm happy. That's all there is to say.

2008-06-12T21:29:00.000-04:00

Sometimes it feels like a chore returning to this blog. Trying to recount events that either I want to forget about or avoid altogether. However, lately I feel like it's more important to focus on the better that some of these events have brought about. Regardless of what it took to get there.

With my parents moving to Texas, relationship woes that are FINALLY done, school starting next week, and working like a crazy woman... you'd think I'd be slightly stressed. However, I'm just the opposite. It feels good to be free and be by myself for a little while. I've got some potential and I'm making good time with it.

In other news, this is what makes me happy:

2008-06-10T21:41:00.000-04:00

If you want me, I'll be in the bar..

2008-06-07T11:51:00.000-04:00

we're not the same, dear, as we used to be
the seasons have changed and so have we
there was little we could say and even less that we could do
to stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you

we buried our love in the wintery grave
a lump in the snow was all that remained
but we stayed by its side, as the days turned to weeks
and the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak

when the spring arrived, we were taken by surprise
when the flows under our feet bled into the sea
and nothing was left for you and me

we're not the same dear and it seems to me
there's nowhere we can go with nothing underneath
then it saddens me to say what we both knew was true
that the ice was getting thinner under me and you

the ice was getting thinner under me and you

2008-06-05T22:27:00.001-04:00

Nothing better than a night out with my best girl.

2008-05-29T17:11:00.000-04:00

The trip to the Lone Star State was nothing but hot and uncomfortable. Spent in a backseat of a Subaru, sipping on slurpees and looking at really nice houses that I decided I didn't want to live in. While it was nice to get away from work for a couple of days, I was happy to hear the flight attendant say "Welcome to Atlanta" when the plane landed back here in the good ole South. Texas is definitely different from the real South. For the most part, the people are arrogant and impolite. I did have really good ribs at one of the Rathbun's brothers restaurants though. And they were deeeeeelicious.

June will be a busy month for me. With registering for summer school, planning my wisdom teeth surgery, and managing to look for a place to live by the end of July, I'll have my hands full. Then the first of July marks the 21st time I've spun around on this planet. Life will get a little more interesting after that, I'm sure.

Viva tan lines.

I work too early in the mornings..

Love on every corner.

Babe.

Nowheresville, Texas.

"See I'm stuck in a city but I belong in a field.."

2008-05-22T21:09:00.000-04:00

I could not have said it better myself.